Somebody Kill Me Now...

I know I'm a superhero and all but I'll be honest, even Spider-Man has his off nights. Let's be blunt, I got my tukas handed to me on a silver platter. Every joint, muscle, blood vessel & cell screams of pain.

Yep... The downside of "Great Responsibility".

Was slinging along lastnight when I saw a fire down by the docks on the Lower East Side. No big deal. My M.O. is to head on down, make sure no one is at risk of becoming crispy and then I let the FDNY take over.

This time was different.

Spider Sense made me all too aware that someone was in the warehouse. It hit me like a ton of bricks. A quick lunge through a plate glass window and I saw my mark. Some vato with duct tape over his mouth and one to many bruises to have fallen down the stairs. If there was one thing that was certain, this wasn't his day.

Spidey to the rescue!

BLAM!!!! Ka-POW BLAM!!! BLAM!!!
(hmmmmm okay, not so much....)

Gunfire usually means that someone doesn't want this poor slob rescued. Not to worry! When you've got the speed, agility & proportionate strength of a spider, this guy is as good a saved. I hiked this guy over my shoulder, and with a quick 'Thwip' of my wrist, we were headed toward the skyline! Soon he was tucked in and snug as a bug in a rug up on a nearby apartment rooftop.

Now to deal with mister happy trigger finger.

Ahhh... that familiar tingles' returned. But the tingle wasn't caused by the goon with the AK-47 dead ahead of me. It was from the steel pipe that contacted the back of my skull sending me head over heals. I looked up just in time to see a huge hulking figure approach me and drop one red rose.

Uuugghhhh.... Anything but this.

I must have battled for hours. Between dodging automatic fire and staggering blows from Kingpin's fists, I must have finally relented. All I remember is waking up the next morning at Matt Murdock's place with a bag of frozen peas resting on the shiner right below my left eye. Ole' hornhead happened upon me and got me outta there. Ya know something? No one has worse timing than Matt. Just a few minutes earlier and last night would've turned out a bit differently.

Well, I'm nursing the wounds today. Oh, Mr. Wilson Fisk. Go ahead and yuk it up now. Because I'm coming. Not even god is going to be able to save you from the wrath of

SPIDER-MAN

I'm outta here...